As one grows older, it becomes increasingly difficult to change, much less to improve, and actually the curve of quality versus time often tends downwards. This has been remarked on by many people, I first came across this age dependence of human qualities in famous novelist Sarat Chandra Chattopadhyay’s “Srikanto”. Many of you have read this famous novel. If not, I strongly recommend it, particularly Volume 1 of the four-volume novel.
But how do you improve, if you want to and when you are still young? The best procedure is through self-criticism. It is not a weakness, but a tremendous strength to be self-critical.
In fact, I have noticed an almost complete lack of self-criticism in many, but certainly not all, Indian students, especially male students, and even more so among Bengali students. In some sense, it is funny because these students think a world of themselves, and probably have never heard of self-criticism. As a result, they do not improve. They saturate, often quite pleased with themselves! They do not even know that they are not improving. It is a happy state of existence, but promises remain unfulfilled.
Let me explain. All of us grow up with lots of limitations. These are of various kinds. But prominent among the vices is the lack of consideration and sensitivity to others. There is a lot of merit in the idiom that says “Kindness is the greatest virtue”. One of course learns many things along the way in life, but not every body learns in equal measure. As the saying goes, some learn by watching, but some in the hard way. Unfortuantely, one does not get too many chances in life.
This is where self-criticism can play a role. In psychological medicine aimed at inducing self-improvement, self-criticism is called “self appraisal”. This is an activity strongly advised. In self-appraisal, one attempts to write down one’s positive and negative qualities. It is most effective when done in a group. Then one can exchange the appraisals and try to look at oneself in the mirror of others.
In fact, such an activity was carried out by my friends when we were students of chemistry honors at the Presidency College in the early 1970s. I was absent on that particular day but was later told to me by a well-meaning student (my good old friend, now well-known as Prof. Debshakar Roy). Debu told me the various observations. As I was not present, I could not state which were my own limitations, but my friends did quite a scathing job. The conclusions/judgments/appraisals Debu told me stayed with me all my life. I am not going to share the details, but the negative observations of my friends helped me a lot, really a lot, in my future.
Students usually do some analysis, but a detailed one, even with the academic coordinator of the department, and/or the adviser really helps. In the US, they have more ways to get across their points. The process is painful but helps in the long run.
In Bengali homes, mothers typically spoil their sons. The mothers are so much in love and awe of their sons, that the sons are made to grow up thinking that they are angels dropped from heaven. The sons think that all they need to do is to study and do well in exams. Amazingly stupid way to grow up. This is especially true for those children who do not play sufficiently intensely in games and sports. If you play, friends usually “fix” many of the vices.
These children in particular are in need of self-appraisal. Let them write down how great they think they are. But then let the friends and colleagues tell them they actually are not all that great, and these are the vices and limitations.
I find serious flaws even in Indians professors settled abroad. They tend to be quite selfish or self-centred. This takes a toll on their career. However, having gone up so far in life, they do have many admirable qualities, one of them certainly is the communication skill.
I know well about cases where students faltered in demanding situations because they just failed to read the response of the system, of the adviser. This failure to read others come from a self-focussed attitude which is not selfishness nor even self-centredness but something even deeper. But this malaise halts their progress.
Self-criticism, through self-appraisal in writing must be carried out peridically.
Actually people most often do not want to say unpleasant things frontally, orally. So one might think that things are okay when they are not.
I remember my experience with students, with opposite results. In some cases I get frustrated, very frustrated, with their progress and repeated mistakes. These led to my rebuke and shouting at the students (that I do often, even now). But the students react differently…not the same way .. Some students understand my frustration and indeed improve, but some never do.
The ability to understand and look at your situations impartially, without self-indulgence is extremely important. Most of us fail to do that. Thus we do not improve.
What I am advocating can be termed as “an active self-interest“. Be involved with yourself but look at yourself from others’ eyes. This is hard. This is where self-appraisal helps. Note that whenever one makes a negative comment about you, is actually doing you a favor. Take it positively. I find that most often students even do not know that they have several lacunae.
It is not enough to be just good or even the best in studies, but be a good well rounded human being with a pleasant personality, to go ahead in life. The students must learn early to help others, to help the system. It is not enough to say later “I did not know”. It is student’s business to know and act accordingly. Life is tough. You do not get many chances. And your upward journey will be determined, and hopefully, helped, by others.
Biman Bagchi,
19-05-2024, Bengaluru.
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